Buses (in London?)

Surveys by MORON and GALL indicate the recent trend, scientifically stated as follows: 'Cretins standing at the front of the bus, and not moving right down into the carriage unless under strong verbal encouragement from fellow passengers, even then it's all you can do to climb over them to get to the stairs,[on doubledeckers..]' is, you guessed it, on the increase.

They benefit, and this is my guess at the Cretin worldview, from not having to get close to other sitters, not having to ask people to move bags/coats/coatflaps, not having to move past other cretins, but also if the bus driver cannot denude the very front of the bus he will not stop to pick up more passengers, the cretin journey may be shorter in elapsed time

This never used to happen. I don't need to point out that while this disaster is happening on the downstairs of the bus, where there is some space at the back, there are usually PLENTY OF SEATS UPSTAIRS.

You're amazing. We want you to stay away.